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I just feel better about life when I have a knife in my hand.
I should probably learn to cook, so that sounds less creepy.
I should probably learn to cook, so that sounds less creepy.
hungry5 brought me back up for nothing | Shut my eyes, only once
Follow me, now, and I will drown you; fill you full of reasons
26 November 2009 @ 09:07 pm
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
02 November 2009 @ 05:33 pm
Safe in the new place with internet again. It took longer than it should have since AT&T has been acting lame on us. I'll be getting back to this more slowly since I have tons of other stuff I need to do.
apathetic17 October 2009 @ 01:44 am
...the reason I have gone radio silent all over the internet is because I'm in the middle of moving. I'll be completely in the new place by the 20th and then I should start reappearing soon afterward.
Existing: Davie, FL
Feeling: 
tired
tired23 August 2009 @ 07:19 am
01 June 2009 @ 12:25 pm
03 May 2009 @ 06:44 am
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is on Twitter. WTF @ anyone taking the time to do this, yet still, hilarious.
23 April 2009 @ 03:38 pm
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090418/ap_o
Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea
A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday. Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized three days after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. A bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head, authorities said. She is expected to fully recover.
"There's no way she should be alive other than a miracle from God," said Sheriff Mike Byrd of Jackson County, Miss.
Byrd said deputies were looking for Sexton's husband, Donald Ray Sexton, earlier in the week to give him a document ordering him to stay away from his wife. Court records show he was put on probation for six months on April 9 for domestic violence.
He showed up at their home in rural Jackson County in Southeast Mississippi about 12:10 a.m. Tuesday and confronted his wife as a relative ran next door to call police, the sheriff said.
"She was at her bed, and he shot her right in the head," Byrd said. "Then he went out on the back porch and shot himself."
A deputy was greeted by the woman when he arrived minutes after she was shot with the slug from a .380-caliber handgun.
"When the officer got there she said, `What's going on?' She was holding a rag on her head and talking. She was conscious, but she was confused about what had happened," he said. "She had made herself some tea and offered the officer something to drink."
Byrd said the bullet apparently passed through the lobes of the woman's brain without causing major damage. She was rushed to a Mobile hospital by a helicopter.
While such cases may be rare, a neurosurgeon who wasn't involved in Sexton's case said such an outcome is possible. Medical journals also confirm people have been shot in the head with little or no lasting injury.
"There is a space in the brain where a missile could pass without doing any major damage. Is it possible? Yes. It would be rare," said Dr. Patrick Pritchard, an assistant professor of surgery at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.
The sheriff called the case bizarre.
"You just don't hear of something like this. Somebody gets shot in the head and they're dead," Byrd said.
Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea
A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday. Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized three days after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. A bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head, authorities said. She is expected to fully recover.
"There's no way she should be alive other than a miracle from God," said Sheriff Mike Byrd of Jackson County, Miss.
Byrd said deputies were looking for Sexton's husband, Donald Ray Sexton, earlier in the week to give him a document ordering him to stay away from his wife. Court records show he was put on probation for six months on April 9 for domestic violence.
He showed up at their home in rural Jackson County in Southeast Mississippi about 12:10 a.m. Tuesday and confronted his wife as a relative ran next door to call police, the sheriff said.
"She was at her bed, and he shot her right in the head," Byrd said. "Then he went out on the back porch and shot himself."
A deputy was greeted by the woman when he arrived minutes after she was shot with the slug from a .380-caliber handgun.
"When the officer got there she said, `What's going on?' She was holding a rag on her head and talking. She was conscious, but she was confused about what had happened," he said. "She had made herself some tea and offered the officer something to drink."
Byrd said the bullet apparently passed through the lobes of the woman's brain without causing major damage. She was rushed to a Mobile hospital by a helicopter.
While such cases may be rare, a neurosurgeon who wasn't involved in Sexton's case said such an outcome is possible. Medical journals also confirm people have been shot in the head with little or no lasting injury.
"There is a space in the brain where a missile could pass without doing any major damage. Is it possible? Yes. It would be rare," said Dr. Patrick Pritchard, an assistant professor of surgery at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.
The sheriff called the case bizarre.
"You just don't hear of something like this. Somebody gets shot in the head and they're dead," Byrd said.
06 March 2009 @ 08:52 pm
Google Earth seems to have completely disappeared off my computer. I'm at a loss as to how this could have happened.
confused11 January 2009 @ 07:49 pm
I ran across this video of the relentlessly evil Super Mario World hack known as the Kaizo version, in which a Japanese level designer recreates the levels into something beyond the worst nightmares of any gamer. When I was in New Jersey I watched Steve try to BEGIN this, and he made it maybe to the second enemy in the first level. In this video, a guy takes on THE SECOND SPECIAL STAGE (the one you can't even get to without completing the Star Road) on what seems to be a dare from his friends. Now, after watching Steve play for a few minutes, I got the distinct feeling that I was seeing something from a horrific alternate universe, in which formerly pleasant childhood pursuits were twisted into despicable acts of masochism. Now, after seeing this video, I actually feel a developing phobia that one day I will be inescapably FORCED to play this game.
This is what Hell looks like.
My favorite moments include his voice squeaking on "what the fuck!" about 2 minutes in. And, 5 minutes in, when he gets his first glimpse of the goal posts. And almost exactly 6:21 when life's inherent cruelty is excellently illustrated and slightly more than a minute later when HIS BRAIN TOTALLY BREAKS.
The video's a bit long but it's worth watching the whole thing, as frustration drives the narrator completely insane. I laughed. A lot.
(I didn't even touch the other videos on the page. I'm afraid to.)
This is what Hell looks like.
My favorite moments include his voice squeaking on "what the fuck!" about 2 minutes in. And, 5 minutes in, when he gets his first glimpse of the goal posts. And almost exactly 6:21 when life's inherent cruelty is excellently illustrated and slightly more than a minute later when HIS BRAIN TOTALLY BREAKS.
The video's a bit long but it's worth watching the whole thing, as frustration drives the narrator completely insane. I laughed. A lot.
(I didn't even touch the other videos on the page. I'm afraid to.)
Feeling: 
O_O
O_O03 January 2009 @ 05:59 pm
Mom: Yankee Candle discontinued their lavender scent.
Me: Society is soon to break down.
Mom: ......I'll start with your face.
Me: Society is soon to break down.
Mom: ......I'll start with your face.
27 October 2008 @ 05:10 am
Feedback much appreciated. Also, a prize to anyone who identifies all the quotes and song lyrics. :p
26 September 2008 @ 10:56 pm
Laughter is a bit rare for me these days, so here's something I stole off the internet that had me absolutely rolling. Enjoy.
Metaphors found in high school essays.
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.
Here are last year's winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease .
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Metaphors found in high school essays.
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.
Here are last year's winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease .
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Feeling: 
amused
amused07 September 2008 @ 07:30 pm
Me: Did you seriously just sit there for 15 minutes watching Spore download?
Jamie: Yes.
Me: You're playing Progress Bar Hero.
Jamie: Yes.
Me: You're playing Progress Bar Hero.
03 September 2008 @ 08:51 am
YOUR PRESENCE ON THE INTERNET DOES NOT ASSIGN IMPORTANCE TO YOUR STUPID OPINION
Feeling: 
aggravated
aggravated31 August 2008 @ 11:19 pm
Dungeons & Dragons: Tiny Adventures needs to stop having errors.
That is all.
That is all.
27 August 2008 @ 03:34 am
Feeling: 
enthralled
enthralled23 August 2008 @ 01:33 pm
I just overhauled my website and got my forums working, and I'd appreciate it if you could all go take a look and give me feedback. I'd like it if you tried to register so I can be assured it's working successfully, but I'm not counting on it. Thank you very much, everyone who has already helped me test it.
You might wonder why I have my own forums... well, keep in mind I am trying to sell artwork and get commissions, and I'm working on a lot of projects at once so I need a place to keep all this information together. I'll be posting stuff that I'm working on and anyone interested in my work would only have to drop in now and then to see what was new. Not just professional stuff, but any projects I have going at all, including for example my Morrowind mods if I ever get back into that, and pretty much anything I am making or doing in the real or any virtual world. So if you're interested in my artwork or my writing, this will save you from having to check deviantart or fictionpress, as everything will be in one spot. I expect these to grow as my work gets out into the world (I may even have "fans" one day that I don't personally know IRL, and I've already been contacted on AIM by random people bearing compliments, wheeeee), so rather than making them sometime down the road, I decided to do so now and just "grow into" them.
My site is www.monster-dungeon.com and hopefully always will be. Check it out if you have some time, and like I said, feedback! Thanks. :)
You might wonder why I have my own forums... well, keep in mind I am trying to sell artwork and get commissions, and I'm working on a lot of projects at once so I need a place to keep all this information together. I'll be posting stuff that I'm working on and anyone interested in my work would only have to drop in now and then to see what was new. Not just professional stuff, but any projects I have going at all, including for example my Morrowind mods if I ever get back into that, and pretty much anything I am making or doing in the real or any virtual world. So if you're interested in my artwork or my writing, this will save you from having to check deviantart or fictionpress, as everything will be in one spot. I expect these to grow as my work gets out into the world (I may even have "fans" one day that I don't personally know IRL, and I've already been contacted on AIM by random people bearing compliments, wheeeee), so rather than making them sometime down the road, I decided to do so now and just "grow into" them.
My site is www.monster-dungeon.com and hopefully always will be. Check it out if you have some time, and like I said, feedback! Thanks. :)
09 June 2008 @ 04:23 pm